Mar

5

Photo Op

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Overheard in a very quiet, very packed sauna at the gym:

[woooshhhhhh (sauna sounds)]

Girl: So do you think she’d take a picture if I asked her?

Guy: Of what?

Girl: Of my cervix.

[woooshhhh] Two of us innocent bystanders look to see if she’s serious and then look at each other…she’s at least pretending to be serious

Guy: Ummm…I don’t know…why would you want that?

Girl: I don’t know…(chews her lower lip)

I mean she’s down there already with a light and everything.

[woooshhhhh]

Girl: What…you think it’s weird or something.

Guy: Ummm…

Girl: I guess you’d just end up of a super big picture of a vagina.

Guy: Ummm…yea…that’s kinda weird

Girl: I guess I could ask her to zoom in or something

I heart people….this guy’s my hero:

glumbert - How NOT to firebomb a nightclub

Feb

3

Keeping on, Keeping on

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So, as you can see, I’m upgrading and changing my blog. Slowly. As you’re reading this, there are probably many things that are still broken. Hahahaha…such a wonderful metaphor for me! Aaaanyway, its a week or so into the semester, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. Freaking out right now, really if you must know. Right on schedule. It’s ok, nothing to worry about, this was expected, nothing to see here. Just another freaking out middle aged man folks, c’mon, move along, you see this every day, keeep moving, that’s right…nothing new here…this one just can’t afford a Porsche, so he’s doing it here in front of all of us, move along.

I suck! I’m poor! I have lots of debt! I’m freeloading off my friends when we go out to dinner! I’m lonely! I’m single and spending far too much time in my room! I still smoke and stink like a smoker! I have bad posture! I still bite my nails. Aaaaaahhhhhhhh! What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I, at 37, playing at all of this? See? Freakout, right there. I just woke up, and have just poured coffee into my gullet. Caffeine starting to kick in. Everything is oooookaaay. There ya go, little trooper. All better.

Just needed to get that out of me. Sorry you had to see that.

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